So I finally just said “fuck it” while I was laying here, to hear XXXTentacion (That’s a mouthful for a name) out with his music. After listening to his song that everybody listens to, called “Look At Me” and a few other crazy songs. I stumbled upon one of his most acceptable songs (to me) called “Revenge.” It has this chantey type of melody on how he sings it, with a guitar riff playing in the back and soft drums. I played this song at least 6 times and counting already while typing this. Honestly, people don’t even know that this guy doesn’t really want to just rap. He wants to do this mixture of Metal Rock/Rap/Metallica type of feel with a deep message or something. Plus he does dope poetry. On the cover art of X’s “Revenge” song, it says this with his handwriting.
I do the same fucking shit everyday. Everyday feels like Sunday I cannot escape. My mind is sick. My mind is fucking sick. I am not satisfied with anything. I do not care about progressing in my life. Throughout my life, I cared about people who did not care about me. No one truly cares anyway. Life is just a waste of time. My life especially. Even though my family says they care, deep down they do not. Friends will come and go. You know, my life is a fucking joke and I’m truly lost in life. My friend saved my life, my friend saved my fucking life. It’s getting less stressful and crazy now, but I’m still lost. I see the fake humans and their fake smiles with their fake love. I’ll fucking kill all of them. I am not crazy. I truly am not. The only reason I am alive is because of the people who were there for me when I was crying desperately for help, help, help. My real family is dead to me. But I will always love them. They didn’t want to accept the fact that I was fucked up. “You’re not depressed, you’re not sad. You’re wasting your time.” They didn’t get it until it was over. I saw everything before it happened. No one cared until they saw me progressing. Losing friends was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now people come in my life, I am very grateful for them and everyone around me. I constantly get let down. I always get let down. Maybe because I expect so much from people who truly don’t give a fuck about me. I get attached to people I shouldn’t have. I expect too much. Might as well say fuck em. And fuck it. I’ll die alone. Hahaha. I’m such a fucking pussy. Depressed, hopeless. Well at least I know who I am.
I love that when I first looked him up, he seemed to want to experiment with different genres using rap as the foundation, but with this somber, slowly sung song, it impressed the fuck out of me, especially since I’ve heard so much negativity and controversial things surrounding this guy when it comes to his music. I think he should stick to this cleverly done style of music, maybe mix it with rap also. He’s only 19 too, so there’s definitely room for him to improve over time. But, lets talk about about this damn cover art above. Why does this seem like a suicide letter? And how come every time I hear him do some type of poetry in the cyphers on XXL, he comes off like a very depressed kid? He seems like he’s dealing with a lot of emotional trauma judging from the letter and hopefully this is just part of his character, and if not, then lets hope he doesn’t fuckin’ Kurt Cobain himself and gets some type of help, because it would be a damn shame to see his type of potential go to waste because he let this world get to him. Not just his potential to be great, but what his mind has to offer the next generation when it comes to thinking outside of rap, outside of what is being taught, unlearned from the way things are taught.
He’s the only one in the cypher that speaks some truths, and he does it uniquely by not having any music playing whatsoever, just A Capella and kneels down, speaks his piece, then gets up and walks away. None of the others did what he did content-wise, they all boasted about the same shit, with different styles of trash (Not sorry). Kyle even did bad and I actually like his music. I think if X focuses on his craft a lot more, stay away from the drama, he would be pretty great. He would have to stay away from that stupid “yuh” type of style of music, but lets just hope that he’s the only odd one out of the rest that has something real to talk about.
I’m not giving him a pedestal. I am just giving hope.